


Quiet Nights

by ilovrichgoranski (Absolutelyalphys)



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: AKA, ANYWAys im very passionate abt this he can only walk a few steps w/o a wheelchait, Angst, Cuddling, Disabled Jake, Disordered Eating, Mental Illness, OH ALSO GUESS WHAT YALL, Post-Squip, Sleepovers, Swearing, There might b ships later... probably, abuse ment, and so is michael, angst with good ending, dustin's my fav i gotta insert him everywhere, its. eventual i promise, jake? cant walk anymore bc of the play shit, masturbation ment, maybe richjake and boyf riends, maybe... all 5 boys r polyam togethr..who knows not Me, rich is trans, tags will update, wanings and ratings might change
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-26
Updated: 2017-06-24
Packaged: 2018-11-05 01:27:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11003121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Absolutelyalphys/pseuds/ilovrichgoranski
Summary: Being without a Super Computer to tell you what to do after you once had one is hard.Everyone's messed up, everyone needs support.





	1. A Night With Company

**Author's Note:**

> ok only The Boys are in this chapter!!ill add the girls next chapter i promise.

A big living room with bean bags and a large couch was occupied by 5 boys. They all had their attention drawn to a big television screen, with a movie playing.

One boy was stretched out across 3 beanbags lined up in front of the couch. He had a bowl of popcorn in front of him, and a big bottle of mountain dew red. Two boys were on one side of the couch, in a red blanket together. They had a bag of chips with them, and crushed, empty cans of soda. Then there were the two who sat near but not too close. One was obviously in pajamas; a baggy shirt and some sweats. The other, Rich, simply had a sleeveless shirt and some too-big shorts on.

And Rich was so tired. Not physically, he could stay awake all night, just mentally tired. Exhausted. He needed a break.

Rich saw Dustin stretch out on his beanbags as the movie wrapped up, “just saying, this movie is objectively like the best movie ever. A cinematic fucking masterpiece, I would watch it every day if I could,”

A Laugh, “Dude! We’re watching Megamind!” Michael threw his hands in the air.

“Yes, it’s Megamind! And it’s a cinematic _fucking_ masterpiece!” He rolled over to see Michael on the couch, “Give me one thing bad with this movie!”

“Alien cliché”

“I’m leaving, bye,” Rich watched from the couch as Dustin rolled off of his bean bags and left the room.

“Can I have your soda?” Michael called to Dustin, already reaching for Dustin’s soda

“NO!” Dustin rushed back in, and flopped onto the beanbags. “ _But_ I’m totally sleeping on these, just so you all know. I’m claiming these bean bags. It’s my home now,”

Rich was just sitting there. He needed to do something; his SQUIP would have told him what to do right now, instead of him just sitting there. God he wished he still had it; he wished he didn’t have to be the mess he was. He was the opposite of the Rich everyone knew, he wanted to be who he was with the SQUIP. At least when he had it he couldn’t feel pain.

 

The next couple of minutes went by so fast. What time was it? Everyone seemed to be asleep; the lights were off and he was on the couch by himself. He could hear snores of the others.

He pulled out his cracked phone to check the time. It was almost 2 in the morning. Of course it was, Rich couldn’t focus on sleeping since the SQUIP disappeared. The silence was deafening and Rich couldn’t _not_ think about it; he couldn’t sleep.

Before he knew it, silent sobs were racking him, the couch shaking from his shaking. He always cried quietly, then he couldn’t be heard and get in trouble. He felt his face was so warm, and the tears streamed down his face messily.  Rich turned his head to bury it in the arm rest of the couch, using it to wipe tears off his face.  He sat there for so long; it felt like so long, maybe it was only a few minutes. His breath hitched in a sob, with an awful kind of sound coming out, and the couch creaked when he moved his hand to slap over his mouth, to block the sound of his crying.

His only thoughts had been about remembering he had only eaten a bag of chips each day for the past week, and how pathetic he was. He was so pathetic, crying at a happy gathering with some of his best friends.

He heard a voice come from the other side of the room, Jeremy, “Is someone jacking off? I can hear you,”

Rich coughed, and then sniffled softly, “Uh…yeah…” Sounded like a lie, sounded like he’d been crying because he had been.

“That doesn’t sound like a ‘im-jacking-off’ voice. More like ‘ive-been-crying ‘voice. You okay?”

He didn’t respond to Jeremy, he’d pretend he didn’t hear it, and it would be fine. Or, he thought it’d be fine but it wasn’t. He heard fabric moving, and then footsteps nearing him. He turned over on the couch so he buried his head in the cushions.

A hand on his arm. He immediately flinched, trying to make himself not there. He didn’t do physical contact. He couldn’t do physical contact.  

Physical contact was too much, always too much. He could only think about getting bruised and bloody when arriving home from school, getting stabbed while preparing for dinner and instead of going to the hospital, just putting a big Band-Aid over it and trying to fix it himself.

But when he flinched, the hand left. Instead he heard the person just stop, he could hear his soft breathing. Rich let himself relax again. And then he just kept crying, fully aware Jeremy was there. Soon, he heard someone else waking up. Oh god he woke them up by crying, oh no.

He heard a soft and tired “Oh shit, what’s goin’ on?” in a certain Jake Dillinger’s voice, and then footsteps to the couch.

Rich immediately felt so much less alone and afraid, he sat up and grabbed Jake. He just hugged him, sobbing his heart out. He felt awful, him, the guy who used to make fun of crying kids, was crying right on Jacob Dillinger’s shoulder in the middle of the night.

He felt Jake rub his back, murmuring things like “it’s okay, bro…” and “it’ll be okay, dude…”

Soon enough, Michael and Dustin woke up too. Someone suggested they all went into a big cuddle pile, which was probably the best suggestion the entire sleepover.

Dustin insisted the pile would happen over bean bags, because they were so comfortable and the others were missing out by not sitting on them, and they’d see as soon as they toched them. He was totally right. It was so comfortable

It was just about the quietest, peaceful night Rich had experienced in years. The beanbags were better than his actual bed, and his friends around him just had a sense of peace all around.

And he loved it.               

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this is gonna b a fic i wont abandon!!  
> if u wanna talk abt the work or anything, find me at foggydraws on tumblr! if u have any ideas?! PLEase give them to me!  
> and feedback is always encouraged!! <3  
> i wrote this instead of getting assignments done for the end of the year


	2. the update no one likes to see

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sorry!!!! whooPS

FIRSTLY!!! im not abandoning this i PROMISE

ok!! shit! so like. this hasnt updated for a while!! right  
Chapter 2 is in the works, ill delete this when i finish the actual chapter but so.  
i get in trouble when my parents see me writing. they get nosey, i dont want them to see, i get yelled at and shit. then i feel like shit because of it and then i get scared to write in case i get in more trouble, ect ect.

so there's that.  
and depression is kickin' me in the ass and then ill lose inspiration.

yeah. thats. thats all. sorry folks ill try to update soon lmao 

find me at @dustinkropp or @foggydraws. if u want to share ideas abt my fic like... go ahead!! talk to me im not scary !!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHoops


End file.
